For UK private clinics and accountancy practices
We get you new clients, manage your admin and ensure no enquiry ever gets missed.
From first click to paying client, our bespoke systems generate new business, manage the communications including SMS, email and inbound calls, run your onboarding, and follow up with your clients. You only step in where you want to.
- 25 yearsIn digital marketing and client acquisition systems, embracing all aspects of lead generation and direct response marketing.
- Google PartnerCertified on the platform we spend your budget on, and the spend runs on your own account rather than through ours.
- ICO registeredRegistered with the Information Commissioner's Office, and covered by professional indemnity insurance.
- UK built, UK hostedYour system is built around your business and configured to match your clients and communications.
- Checkable, not claimedWe test your enquiry path ourselves, dated and timestamped, and the report is yours to keep whatever you decide.
Every enquiry arrives hot. Almost none of them are worked while they still are.
The problem, quantified
The enquiries you lose were winnable. Most are lost at the last step.
We called 346 UK clinics and the pattern showed up almost immediately. These are our own numbers, measured by us, not an industry figure borrowed from somewhere else. The method and its limits are published in full.
The pattern is not clinical. An enquiry that arrives when nobody is there is lost in any business that answers its own phone, and a business that never finds out which enquiries it missed has no reason to think it has a problem at all.
- Every enquiry you lose was worth something.
- Almost nobody finds out which ones, or how much.
- We measure that first, then seal the leak costing you most.
The method
We start with the leak that costs you most.
The free Leak Check shows you where enquiries and revenue are leaking out of your business. The S.E.A.L. System is how we seal them, starting with whichever one is costing you most, which is rarely the first.
Seen
When someone searches for what you do, they find you, not the business two miles away.
We get almost everything by referral.
What that means
Your listing, your site and the answers people now get from AI assistants before they ever click. Most of the decision happens here, before anyone contacts you, and it is the part almost nobody is measuring.
Say 40 people a month search for what you do. If you are not on the first page you are not in the running for any of them: and not one of them shows up in your enquiry log, so nothing looks broken.
Enquire
Every visit has one clear, fast way to reach you. No dead ends, no buried phone numbers.
We get visitors, but hardly any of them enquire.
What that means
One obvious next step on every page, on a phone as much as a desktop. Where campaigns run, the advert and the page it lands on are built together rather than bought from two suppliers who blame each other.
100 visits to a page where the phone number is three taps down. The half-decided ones leave. They never become an enquiry, so they never appear in anything you count.
Answered
Every enquiry gets an instant response: day, night, and while you are already on another call.
We are busy, but we have no idea how many we miss.
What that means
Phone, web form, email, SMS, WhatsApp, missed calls and voicemail, all answered and all landing in one place. The right ones are qualified and booked into your diary; the rest are handled without taking your time. Research across 2,241 companies put the average first reply at 42 hours, with 1% answering inside five minutes (Harvard Business Review, 2011: US business-to-business sales, not clinics; the mechanism carries across, the number is not yours).
10 calls a month that nobody picks up, at £800 a job, is £8,000. Ring back the next morning and most have already gone elsewhere: the enquiry was real, the window was hours.
Lifetime
Booked, reminded, brought back, and every month you see exactly what it was worth.
We win them, and then the work eats the margin.
What that means
Booking, reminders, rescheduling and the follow-up that stops a commitment quietly evaporating: plus the back-office admin around it, built to how you already work rather than to a template. Then the part almost no one gives you: what each enquiry was actually worth once it had run its course.
Win 100 customers and keep 15 next year rather than 30. At £800 each that is £12,000 of repeat work you already paid once to win.
And what Lifetime learns makes Seen sharper every month.
Work it out
What is the gap costing you?
Your figures
Fill in all three boxes and your figure appears here.
Almost nobody can fill in the third box, and that is the whole problem. What happens when someone contacts you and nobody is there is the one thing you cannot observe about your own business. It is also exactly what the Leak Check measures.
Where the work happens
The places your clients already look, run as one system.
We run the campaigns, the pages they land on and the system that answers the enquiry as one build, which is what stops a lost enquiry being somebody else’s fault.
- Organic search, and the AI answers built on top of it
- Paid search, where the intent is highest
- Facebook and Instagram advertising
- Where people decide before they ever search
- The models behind the answering and the follow-up
The Leak Check
We find where you could be losing money between someone finding you and someone paying you. Then we show you what it would take to seal it.
A short report and a 20 minute walkthrough. Inside it:
- Where you show up for the searches that matter.
- What happens when someone tries to contact you. We test it ourselves, dated and timestamped.
- How you compare against three named local competitors, on identical tests.
- What the gaps could be costing, worked out from your own figures, with the sums shown.
- The three fixes we would make first, in order of what they are worth.
Yours to keep, whatever you decide.
Free. No card, no access to your systems, no obligation.
Two ways in
One system. We start where you are losing most.
Who you deal with
Jamie Carter
Twenty-five years building acquisition systems, the last few of them for UK clinics and practices. He also runs a marketplace that puts customers in front of providers, so he is buying and converting enquiries himself every week, not just advising on it. The Funnelsmiths is small on purpose: you deal with the person who designs the system, not an account manager standing between you and them.
What owners ask first
Do we have to replace the people who answer our phone?
No. The system covers the hours a person cannot: lunch, evenings, weekends, holidays, and the times they are already on another call. A full-time member of staff covers roughly 1,700 hours a year; people try to reach you across far more than that. The gap is what we close, not the person.
Do we own the system, or are we renting it?
You own it. The automation runs on infrastructure registered to your business. If our relationship ends, the system keeps running and you keep the data, the opposite of a SaaS subscription or an agency retainer.
How long before anything changes?
Days, not months. We measure a two-week baseline first, so improvement is judged against your own numbers rather than a promise. Nothing goes live until we can show you what it replaced.
Do we need to learn new software?
No. The system sits behind what you already use. Enquiries arrive, get answered, and land where they land now. The difference shows up against your two-week baseline: the ones that used to go unanswered stop going unanswered.
Can you just run our ads?
We will, and it is half of what we sell. What we won't do is point a budget at a business that cannot answer the phone, because that burns your money and our reputation in the same month. The enquiry handling goes in first, in the same engagement, not as a separate project you get sold later. If you want the advertising on its own, we are the wrong firm and will say so early.
Do you run it yourselves, or subcontract it?
Ourselves. The campaigns, the pages they land on and the system that answers the enquiry are one build by one team. When an agency runs the advertising and somebody else runs the front desk, a lost enquiry is always the other supplier's fault, and nothing gets fixed.
We find the leak that costs you most, and we seal that one first.
Free · No install · Results in 48 hours
Find out what's recoverable in your business
We contact you the way a new client would, by search, phone and web form, then show you the work you could be winning. Scored on three things: are you found, is the enquiry answered, does anyone chase it.